• The Mystery of Marriage

    My Role As His Wife

    It’s an honor. I am confident in my role and of my impact on him and his career He knows my strength and values my point of view He lifts me up as holy and I become so. I honor and respect him in his work and dedications I see his greatness in his every action We know deep down…

  • Living Vertically,  The Mystery of Marriage

    A Year … Almost

    Mom has moved the pillow to the center of the bed:  submission to the truth.   He is with Jesus and her life is changed.  How can she be happy that he’s gone?  How can we celebrate the joy of heaven when we have such guttural pain in our body?  It’s the most ultimate choice that we must work through…

  • Our Kids, Our Family,  The Mystery of Marriage

    So Many Boats

    My husband and I had a wonderful impromptu date on Friday night.  We stole away to the only Persian restaurant in town, and instead of talking about our nutty list of activities to manage over the next 48 hours, we pondered our opportunity to grow…  as parents and as humans who have learned a thing or two along the way. In…

  • Living Vertically,  The Mystery of Marriage,  The Story

    Monday Morning Marriage

    You’ve seen a bumblebee when it bounces frantically, persistently into the window, unaware of the clear and solid obstacle between him and the luscious bouquet of wildflowers on your sun porch? The squirrels and robins watch this bumblebee and try to shout to him “it’s no use!” but he doesn’t seem to get it. He thinks he can fly through the…

  • Living Vertically,  Serving, Leading,  The Mystery of Marriage

    How Fashionable Are Your Scales?

    We all have ‘em. We have lots of them and they are blocking our view. They block a clear view of our parents, our business situations, our finances, our children, our miraculous spouses and ourselves. We have scales on our eyes. Important aspects of understanding and knowledge; grace and compassion, even intelligence. All distorted because we have scales. Some people have scales…

  • Living Vertically,  The Mystery of Marriage

    How Dare He.

    I’ll be clear. For approximately 22.2 years I’ve been planning to write a book. (You, too?)   Now in my 40-something, fabulous, post-transformation healthier place, I’m endeavoring to bring that dream to life. It’s going to be great. I quit not-one-but-two fairly big jobs. (Ok, one was bigger than the other.) And now I humbly devote myself to balancing my time…

  • Living Vertically,  The Mystery of Marriage

    Committed Dreamers

    Maybe we should be committed.  (hmmm… does it negate the “committed” part if we say “maybe”?)  Scratch that; let’s keep going. Saturday: Today we have a two-hour drive to Riley’s weekend volleyball tournament, and we accept the opportunity to ponder yet another transformational life-moment.  This week we made some key decisions. We settle into the truth that both Steve and…

  • Living Vertically,  The Mystery of Marriage

    One More Thing

    “Excuse me, Ma’am, I have a follow-up comment?” I will never pretend to know whether or not a struggling marriage can be saved or a person should stay and try to make it work, or dust their feet.  That is one of the most painful and personal decisions any person can make. It is true that God can do anything,…

  • Living Vertically,  The Mystery of Marriage

    Knowing Favorites.

    He sent us away because it would feed our hearts. When I gently mentioned to Steve that I so wanted to go see Erik play basketball at his Multnomah University in Portland Oregon – and that Erik was genuinely begging to have me bring Jack and Riley too – my gallant husband embarked on a mission.  Now you should know…

  • Living Vertically,  The Mystery of Marriage

    It Could Only Be God

    Today I honor my husband. One year ago today his decision changed everything. As magnificent head of our home and pillar of strength, he pulled in. He allowed it to happen.  He allowed God to invade deeper truths. We took time.  Weeks and weeks of study and prayer and growth. Sometimes painful and always holy.

  • Our Kids, Our Family,  The Mystery of Marriage

    Power Tools

    Something like six months ago I had a BUNIONECTOMY. It’s hard to decide which word is more ugly: bunion,  or its –ectomy. The kind and slightly-too-young surgeon used standard issue hardware to hold my metatarsal in its new place; redesigned to be straighter and more natural. Neat.  Power tools. (This makes my husband very happy and of the mind that…

  • Living Vertically,  Serving, Leading,  The Mystery of Marriage,  The Story

    Living Vertically

    Every day we get another chance to adjust our settings; turn the dials of our vision, our focus, our intention, our daily starting point. When we are overly focused (read: obsessed) on the person-to-person interactions, we are choosing to live horizontally. This often results in serious side-effects: frustrations, worries, expectations and, on good days certainly, even delightful joy and thrilling…

  • Living Vertically,  The Mystery of Marriage,  The Story

    Keep Walking

    People often ask “how do we know what God wants for our life?” I tell the stories about how my life has transformed into new depths of peacefulness as well as more genuine excitement and NO-FAIR!-awesome opportunities. New friends nod with some assumption that it’s always been that way. “What a nice life.  You’ve done well.” Nope. I’ve been rescued. …

  • Living Vertically,  Our Kids, Our Family,  The Mystery of Marriage

    Camping Out

    PLANS WELL MADE It’s somewhere between 4 and 5am and we’re camping.  Actually we’re staging ourselves for an early arrival to the Wheatland Music festival that starts tomorrow and we’re on Take #9 of trying to beat the morning queue.  We rented the same reliable 35’  trailer we’ve used for a few years (which we now consider ours) and we…