The truth of a father who loves.

The truth of a father who loves.

Recently I had the privilege of hearing two brilliant pastors on different ends of the country speak – live – and directly to me as if they had read the whole messy complicated backstory before their talk began. First, I listened to Pastor Jim Samra’s teaching all the way from our former church in Michigan (thanks to live web streaming) while I primped and coiffed for a sweet Sunday family adventure. Dr. Samra is beginning the new season, teaching through the first Book of Peter. Today he disassembled the tricky idea of whether we choose God or if He chooses us. And as Jim does with uncommon brilliance, he gave us an insightful example of the truth. He simply said that when two people express their side of any relationship story, they often sound...

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It’s all about the mysterious work of time.

It’s all about the mysterious work of time.

Time works hard. 15 years ago I heard the expression “all in God’s time,” and as a confirmed control freak, I was quite intrigued with this mystery. I was painstakingly seeking the truth of God, flip-flopping around the structures of religion and new age fads, so the notion of “God’s timing” as something beyond my control was new. I remember the concept striking an un-played chord of … relief. He’s bigger. He is real. But, alas, in those days, I continued to fuel my comfort with the belief that I was running the show. Today, after many textured and refining seasons, I am certain beyond doubt that it’s all about time.  And each season is ours to grasp and secure as a stepping-stone – no, a walking stick – to take with us into the...

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Is it possible to see through dark?

Is it possible to see through dark?

In this war Our enemy likes to keeps us off kilter. Spinning our heads. Tossing in grenades of worry.  Obstacles meant to keep us from moving forward with purpose. Yet the greatest warrior king of all time beckons us to trust. Shedding fear and doubt. Shouting strength and giving glory to God. The one who is our armor For all He can do. All things are possible. Right? Sometimes it doesn’t seem to be so. Some days it seems like the dark clouds are covering all the light. How do we keep going when we can’t see? He can see. He is stronger. When nothing makes sense.  Today may you trust more than you can see. And may you be light for another to see in the dark.     Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Share on Facebook (Ope

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What is the opportunity cost of finding a better marriage?

What is the opportunity cost of finding a better marriage?

Psychologist Barry Schwartz in his now-classic TED talk on the paradox of choices identified a slightly twisted form of Opportunity Cost as one of the downsides to the endless choices we have (indeed, we demand) in our culture today. “The imagined alternatives induce you to regret the decision you made and the regret subtracts from the satisfaction of your choice even if it was a good decision.” Further, “The more options there are, the easier it is to regret anything disappointing about the choice you made.” Now let’s connect this rather sad truth of our human difficulty in remaining emotionally committed to the simple choice of a dinner entrée or a car … to our marriages. Hang with me while I link this thinking to the study we are digging...

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Forged Steel v. Evil Bones. En Guarde.

Forged Steel v. Evil Bones.                                                En Guarde.

We all have issues with bones. These bones are unique parts of us that are from our childhood or other [character-building] events, or simply because we were born with them. They’re dense as an oak. And they are part of our framework whether we want them or not.  Like my big feet, in some ways I’m stuck with them. My particular Evil Bone feeds ugly thoughts of fear and suspicion and negativity when I’m not looking. Suddenly I hear a voice of doubt in myself or in my husband or an expectation of someone else’s behavior… and I know it came from that ugly extra bone. The one that hardened when I was 12.  When my warped sense of love relationships with men, and the insecurity that wants me to feel control, was most likely solidified. HOWEVER Though these...

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