Frank Sex [Talk]. Godly Love.

THEORY: Parents with a healthy view of Godly sex have a better chance of teaching their kids the explosive joys of waiting for the beautiful experience of sacred lovemaking.

See? I told you.  Scandalous.

I don’t fault my parents for their lack of capacity to teach me about sex.  For heaven’s sake, it was the 60’s. Mom grew up in Catholic British boarding schools and didn’t really know how babies were made until she was almost 20 years old.  She did teach us Godliness in many real ways and theoretically, that should have been enough. We did, also, have the Human Sex class taught by Sister Moni McIntyre at my all-girl Catholic high school.  Very helpful.

But alas, culture and primal desire is strong.  Not to mention Dad’s affinity for pornography, which he shared with us (me) liberally.

Entering adulthood (numerically) I didn’t have a clue what to do with men who desperately needed me.  It was pretty intoxicating to this ill-equipped 20- something, and I made a mess of my love life; and therefore I made a long-time mess of my heart.

In her article It’s Time For Frank Talk About Sex, Adelle Banks reports on all the well-organized efforts to help our unmarried young people abstain.

[box type=”info”] Eighty percent of young evangelicals have engaged in premarital sex, according to a new video from the National Association of Evangelicals.

In the article Banks references another top thinker on the subject: “This cultural moment calls for a both/and approach that I think can be challenging for churches,” said Jenell Williams Paris, a Messiah College professor, at the Q conference. “Both lift up the ideal of premarital chastity, and support people who do otherwise with knowledge and resources that can help them prevent pregnancy.” [/box]

To be sure, I’m no PhD. But I am a living example of “before” and “after” in honest, total transformation of belief in a loving God. And that means a new understanding – just like every thing else He created of incomprehensible beauty – of His design for the most intimate moments of our human existence. It’s true.

Also true: Parents have the first responsibility to teach our own children. While I’m grateful for these important organizations, I know the home is the first place they will either be comfortable, or not. Inspired or not. Convicted or not.  Supported in their dreams and loved-when-they-fail.  Or not.

Today I am highly equipped to teach our children –yes, through my mistakes.  Through a true desire for them to experience better.

God rescued me. Through this new walk, this sacred marriage, we frequently reflect that if more people knew God’s design of indescribable joy, we’d pay more attention to that pursuit rather than cheap imitations. Emptiness always comes.

Another excerpt from the article:

[box] More than 10 years ago, Sarah Walsh Landini, a Pittsburgh barista, was one of those evangelical 20-somethings who abstained. But at age 23, she didn’t, and within a month she was pregnant. “The Bible says not to do it, but I think, for most people, they need more than that,” said Landini, now 35, who still sees her 11-year-old son, Jacob, whom she gave up for adoption. “We want to know why. And most of the time folks aren’t prepared to answer the question why.” [/box]

Can we teach our children that the thrill is worth the wait? That flesh is weak but it’s better than you can imagine if you can offer yourself in purity to the man or woman who is created for you? And only that person? Crazy amazing joy.

Culture pulls hard.  If we pulled half as hard as Disney and Sony, we’d be having frank sex conversations every day. (Hmmm, maybe that would make them more comfortable?)

Can we teach such beautiful and scandalous ideas? How about emptiness vs outrageousness.  As parents it’s our best course. Even if it means we must first look inside our selves. This is our chance to evolve.

It’s All Connected.