So Many Boats

My husband and I had a wonderful impromptu date on Friday night.  We stole away to the only Persian restaurant in town, and instead of talking about our nutty list of activities to manage over the next 48 hours, we pondered our opportunity to grow…  as parents and as humans who have learned a thing or two along the way. In the wake of last week’s Frank Sex Talk, we had some fun laughing about our teenage conversations with our parents. This clearly isn’t easy material!

So how do we give our kids the hope of something better, when the world says, “everyone has casual sex…”? We’re not foolish or ignorant or naïve. We don’t bury our heads in bliss; we know our kids are fully in the world and also of this family.

As a beautifully blended family, we’ve learned that the path of transparency and conviction (with God-fearing humility:) is the best roadmap to open dialogue with our growing children. They’ve already lived through enough relationship craziness that we would be all those foolish things if we pretended our kids weren’t processing the plain facts in their own life. And it’s kind of scary to imagine their attempts at processing without a little help, right? They think Kid Rock wrote Sweet Home Alabama, for pete’s sake.

So here’s Steve’s Friday Night metaphor (with my embellishment) on the mating dance. He’s King of the analogous and metaphorical.

To All Of Our Amazing Kids:

You’re standing on the edge of a beautiful harbor.  The sun is bright in the sky and you see no storms or threats of any kind on the horizon.  A vast array of boats rock in the water and it’s exciting to be among them, to even have them in your sight. 

You’re in the market for a boat. You already know that God’s dream for each of us is to have the perfect boat, made just for us.

It’s our wish for you too.

The truth is that there are many boats in the harbor of all unique shapes and sizes, each beautiful in its own way. Shiny and all showing off, they’re each good at different things, created for a specific set of purposes.

One of these wonderful boats is perfect for you; even, it seems, created just for you. And as you navigate the waters, you want to find the right one.

 Many (indeed most) boats have unknown or secret problems on the inside, in the deep inner workings of the engine. Or submerged issues with the propeller. It’s hard to tell from the outside, but most boats have rough spots below the water line.  You can’t fix them yourself! Some you can live with, some you cannot. 

The point is this: we want you know yourself, and God’s dream for your best life well enough to know when a boat is right for you. Be careful and don’t dive in too quickly. Keep your standards high and your own truths clear in your heart. There’s only one of you and you are highly precious. Getting in a boat is a commitment, and you are giving away a piece of you that you can never get back.

 By the way, don’t believe a boat if it says it’s never had another owner, but it’s just naturally expert at sailing.  (OK I added that part).

You might need protection in case you find yourself in the wrong boat. Always be prepared and learn from mistakes. We all make them.  You even may need help getting back to shore.  Storms will come and some are really scary. We’re here for you, but mostly it’s your ocean (?!)

We believe there’s one magnificent boat for you and in this boat you are your truest, best self. See, we ourselves have learned that when God is the guiding force, you’ll know how to sail. 

or maybe, it’s you’ll know how to steer  because mostly we prefer boats with a throttle and 250+ HP. But you get the idea.

A lasting comfort:

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

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That’s it. OK Let me have it. I love the conversation.

 PHOTO CREDIT:  CosmicAdventure