Marriage In The Trash Compactor

Submit.

This word has been in our atmosphere a lot lately. Godly submission, idea submission, submitting to our spouse, our situation, our better self.

Every day – indeed every hour – we have the choice to submit. As we navigate our busy days, we don’t stop to ponder this choice, but we are making it with each step, each reaction, every word from our lips. So when the walls of the trash compactor start to motor toward the center, and the muck in which we’re standing suddenly appears to be inhabited by an unidentifiable, giant man-eating serpent-thing, our choices often become instinctive.

Our instincts are likely trained based on our typical behavior,
with or without our deliberate intention to train.

My husband refers to the kids’ daily habits during the family meal relative to Sunday dinner at The Boss’ house as the practice that prepares us for the game. This is great wisdom also applicable to our grown-up behavior in the middle of life’s trash compactor. I confess to feeling like we’re in a trash compactor right now.  Walls pushing in.

 To whom can we turn when the answers aren’t for us to know? Will we submit to our emotional tension or engage our strategic, more intentional behavior?

First I cry, especially if I’m hormonal.  It helps release emotional toxins.

But when we breathe in, and then breathe out words as husband and wife, we let God lead and we are deliberate about our words of life toward each other.  We know that in the collective stresses we face, we absorb and process different elements differently.  The only way we’re going to win the battle is to place the other as the priority.  In other words, I am more concerned about his burden, and he is more concerned about my needs.  When we huddle and lean and plan and pray, we speak words of blessing to the stress that we know the other is bearing.  I reach deep and speak from my better instincts.

Words of the reckless pierce like swords but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 12:18

 

LIFE GIVING WORDS

This is my desire; but hasn’t always been my practice.  For much of my younger life, I used my sharp and dangerous tongue to win. I was very good at winning. Groeschel’s new book, Chapter 3: written for me. Hopefully the old me.

Now we have renewed minds. Steve taught me the greater power of a Godly love that lifts. We practice as often as we can, in the daily small things, to be ready for the game.  It’s Game Time again for us.

I believe God gives us Game Time so that we can see His power when we make the choice to submit to all He’s taught us so far:

His power to soothe our minds, focus our hearts and lift our marriage.

As we intentionally speak words of life to one another in the heightening tension, God shows up and embraces us. God reminds us that He has never abandoned us as we have faced unknown transitions in the past – and we have faced many. We make a list of the miracles and keep marching forward.  Together.

I’m just really grateful that I didn’t let “reckless” come out of my mouth last night.

We still might keep shouting for help so that C3PO and R2D2 will hear us and help turn off the trash compactor.

(Hey, you never know whom God will use in our life today.)

How do you face Game Time as a couple?