When a marriage gets moved into new digs.

When a marriage gets moved into new digs.

How can a heart soar and cringe all at the same time? As a mom of a wide range of kids, I should know this sensation all too well by now. For Pete’s sake, my 21 year old recently sent a photograph of his body practically dangling over the far edge of a cliff along the Oregon coast. Rude and heartless. Tonight as 8-year-old Jack gave us a thumbs-up and sailed away amidst the crowd on his razor scooter, I fully wanted to be Elastigirl and reach out to snatch him back to within my comfort zone. The crowd was getting thick, folks gathering for the concert in the park on a breezy Sunday evening in our new village in Southern California. All at once in my head: “where am I” and “this rocks.” How can I force my heart to be calm and easy as he whisks away,...

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Which article surprises you more?

Which article surprises you more?

Today’s news connection: The Huffington Post reports on what men say about their ex-wives.  This oughta be good.  Click. The statements are contradictory and, on the surface a bit whiny.  But when you stop to consider the deeper meaning, (which might be risky) the potential truth huddled beneath the whining is quite important. And the reality is magnified.  The statements are true…. each one. How much do we honor their needs without worrying about our own being neglected?  Hmmmmm. It seems that we still have lots to learn about the inexpressible fulfillment of sacrificial marital love; that it returns manifold, mountaintop joy. I know: it’s so not ingrained in our world.  We struggle with equality, feminism and some misguided belief that couples have a...

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A really bad blogger.

A really bad blogger.

Wow I have been a really bad blogger lately. Maybe that means I ‘m not really a blogger at all, because one cannot truly be called a blogger if one does not do the blog-things consistent with those bloggers who define good blogging.  So now I have also proved that using the word blog in as many forms as possible in one sentence, still doesn’t make you a blogger. I have, however, on occasion written about the journey of this life, as individual and common as yours, through many varied seasons of growth as wife, mom, marketer and grown-up-girl. So as I navigate a new season of an invigorated business life, taking me on traveling and brainstorming adventures, the focus I had attempted to create on my blog seems to have gone up like dandelion dust, even though...

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With all this, can we possibly think big enough?

With all this, can we possibly think big enough?

As I drifted off to sleep last night, my mind was spinning with the truth that we are charging ahead in a new year filled with new pathways and excitement …and we must choose. Every day, as always, we have to make choices about how to spend every minute when so many needs call for our attention. As we launch and grow consulting business, and have exciting conversations with companies about truly invigorating positions in exciting cities and we weigh our priorities. We realize we are living a season of vibrating thresholds. I wrote about it in May … maybe it’s a continuing season or a new phase. Every day we are together and we acknowledge that this time is ponderable. The gift of a season to invent and explore. Who better to do it? we marvel. Our...

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What is the opportunity cost of finding a better marriage?

What is the opportunity cost of finding a better marriage?

Psychologist Barry Schwartz in his now-classic TED talk on the paradox of choices identified a slightly twisted form of Opportunity Cost as one of the downsides to the endless choices we have (indeed, we demand) in our culture today. “The imagined alternatives induce you to regret the decision you made and the regret subtracts from the satisfaction of your choice even if it was a good decision.” Further, “The more options there are, the easier it is to regret anything disappointing about the choice you made.” Now let’s connect this rather sad truth of our human difficulty in remaining emotionally committed to the simple choice of a dinner entrée or a car … to our marriages. Hang with me while I link this thinking to the study we are digging...

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