Living Vertically,  Our Kids, Our Family

Remote Diving Is So An Olympic Sport

Media mania returned to our house this Christmas season.  With the return of the Even-Taller College Sophomore Erik, the span of our kids’ ages seemed to expand again to the far edges – making the official suggestion of Parental Guidance all but impossible.

Modern Family makes us laugh but it’s SO not appropriate for 6 year old Jack, and the obsessive viewing of Season 1 episodes becomes way too immersive for our magnificently impressionable 13 year old Riley.  It seems she’s as much impressed by our laughter than her own understanding of the show. (Yes, it’s true we laughed hysterically… once or twice.) It’s so crazy, that we laugh spontaneously and then look at each other, look around the room and see them smiling at our laughter. Then they point at the screen and say “Jack’s Like Luke!”

Time to switch.

Erik loves to engage us in the movies he’s discovered – FABULOUS! –  and they’re all are either over Jack’s head (hence: boring) or completely too mature.  We want to use entertainment to have “fun and easy” conversations about values and discernment with Riley the 13–going-on-21 year old (isn’t there a symbol for that?), but finding a relaxing balance on any network is painful.  Have you SEEN pretty little liars?  Yuck.

Watching Star Wars on Spike Network meant I had to FF through every commercial break as Trojan Condoms showed us how to “get it on.”  Really?  EVERY BREAK? I don’t have enough guardrails for that much TV sex.  Remote-Diving became our new holiday sport.

It’s true: there’s a wonderful letting go when the kids can discern for themselves.  But it’s our [very difficult]  job to give them the tools until they’re adults.   At our house, though, it feels like schizophrenia.  It’s hard on the older ones to always have to defer to the small and secretly fragile.

I get it. 

For a long time I made a good living out of knowing how and where to find the premium spenders in our nation’s living rooms.  (We never used sex, I’m just sayin.) As parents we’re trying to make our entertainment choices match up with the values we want to teach and live – AND we love to laugh.

Solution:  Pick the most expensive environment for commercials and you MIGHT be able to avoid the sleaze.  Perfect.  Thank God For Football.