Forged Steel v. Evil Bones. En Guarde.

We all have issues with bones. These bones are unique parts of us that are from our childhood or other [character-building] events, or simply because we were born with them. They’re dense as an oak. And they are part of our framework whether we want them or not.  Like my big feet, in some ways I’m stuck with them.

My particular Evil Bone feeds ugly thoughts of fear and suspicion and negativity when I’m not looking. Suddenly I hear a voice of doubt in myself or in my husband or an expectation of someone else’s behavior… and I know it came from that ugly extra bone. The one that hardened when I was 12.  When my warped sense of love relationships with men, and the insecurity that wants me to feel control, was most likely solidified.

HOWEVER

Though these bones are often permanent, we have the power to control them. Because they are breakable.

My ugly bone is full of rationalized deceit and the accompanying expectation that I am being deceived.  I know my parents both had this bone, so it makes sense that I developed it too.  But when I was 40, shattered and re-made, that bone broke.  Miraculously.  It no longer functions as a mechanical part of my life and I marvel daily at this truth. I have a new weapon forged with power and strength from one almighty God. Crazy, right? Custom, magnificent, all-powerful beautiful sword for me to fight off the weak and foolish thoughts teasing for my focus.

See, the shrapnel from that fat ugly bone floats around like a sinister swordsman, stalking, looking for something soft to slice into. I recognize those evil sharp edges and I have grown to do quite well in my duels against them. I love my sword made from blood-steel, forged custom and beautiful for me.

How wasteful it would be for me to not pick up my new sword of strength, of God in Me, to fight the battles inside, the ones only I can see. Because truly, if I don’t fight them, battle them back, those sharp bits of shrapnel hurt me, and the ones I love most.

And when I’ve won another battle, I am stronger again. My sword grows more beautiful.